I just made a big decision and I think (read: really hope) it was the right one.
After I left my big job in NY with the nice salary, I found myself a work-from-home position that is hourly and part-time here in Philly. As I mentioned in another post, it was a huge pay cut that took me some time and meditation (and maybe a little wine lol) to conform to. That being said, I also mentioned in my last financial health post, “Autoimmune & Finances: The first step” , that my hubby and I are trying to increase income and pull ourselves out of debt.
I interviewed for a position at a big hospital here in Philly back in February, which I didn’t get, but lo and behold, right when I really think about how to make more money, they call me to offer the same position, but in part-time form.
At first, I was super excited and really thankful that they thought of me. I could only think of the potential to make more money, the possibility of getting my foot in the door, the potential for growth, but when they explained the details my excitement started to waver. Taking the job would mean an hour commute, added expenses from taking the bus/train every day, the potential cost of buying lunch some days (realistically, I wouldn’t be able to take leftovers every day), doing retail, installing car seats…wait a second..is this really what I want to do?
I sat down with a calculator, pen, and pad and really dug into the numbers. The per-hour pay would be a lot more, but with commute costs and potential food costs, I would only be making maybe 20-30 dollars more per paycheck. The cons outweighed the pros. The opportunity tainted by the cost.
I initially felt really dumb when I thought about turning the job down and I really wish I could have accepted. I even considered doing both jobs at once: my work from home job for 2 days and the hospital job for 3 days. But wait, the Fall and Winter seasons will be here sooner than we think and cold weather exacerbates my symptoms. If I get too cold my fibromyalgia gets a lot worse and I, in turn, start to get more flare-ups. The point of me moving here and working from home was to focus on healing and getting myself in a better place mentally and emotionally.
Me, being somewhat insecure had to consult with my constituents about it: my hubby, and my sister. They were both of the same thinking that I should just ask my current work-from-home job for more hours and politely decline the new offer.
I listened to their points and I admit, they both made a lot of sense. I’m sure even you reading this were like “um, easy choice!” and I’m sure it is! Truth is I question myself WAY too much (I’m trying to fix that). I annoyingly try to please and accommodate others, negate my own thoughts, and end up pushing my needs to the wayside. I also don’t want to feel like I will totally regret not taking this job…but I don’t think I will. First of all, I have a lot of work experience and doing retail would be a step backward. Second, I like my current job and I love what I’ve learned from it. Third, working from home is such a great privilege and I will keep it as long as it can supply me with what I need.
Hopefully, my supervisor can get me more hours. If that’s possible then I’m positive that I can really start getting ahead with my finances.
Ultimately, and I hope I don’t regret it, I put my health first.
Credit card debt is bad, but putting my body on the line is way more detrimental. If I were a picture of health, I would be able to make different decisions, I’d be in a completely different place, a different person and be able to make less “safe” choices, but I am not…and that’s ok too.
Aside from wishing I were normal and didn’t have to worry about my health, I also acknowledge that I have to be delicate with myself, and caring. Now that doesn’t mean I’m a fragile flower, it just means that I require a little extra sunshine and water.
Listen to your gut, and take care of you. Make the best decision that will keep you moving forward, not drag you back.
I just sent the email declining the position. My heart froze a little, but I know I’ll be alright. And you will be too.
I love you with everything I am, and everything I’ll ever be.